Category Archives: Open Letters

An Open Letter II

To all of us, but especially to the family of Marie Osmond.

What tragedy we see around us every day. Wars and rumors of wars, it says in the Bible. Earthquakes killing thousands, tsunamis, landslides, and forest fires. It seems like you can’t pick up your paper or your online news site without reading about the destruction of our earth and the people on it.

First it was Andrew Koenig. Now it’s Marie Osmond’s son. Suicide is probably the most tragic thing that can happen – especially to the family of the victim. In “real fact” we all become victimized by such a thing.

It doesn’t really matter how your child dies. Not really. He or she is your child and there’s a bond there that doesn’t exist anywhere else. Especially for the mother. Regardless of what happens at birth, the umbilical is never totally separated from the mother. That’s why it’s probably harder for her.

I said yesterday that my wife and I lost our only son in July. It still haunts us both, and we are each grieving in our own way. I never want to have to go through this again, and I know the Koenig and Osmond families pray that too.

At this, I shed a tear and send up a prayer for these families and there losses and their grief. I’m not ready to toss theological or philosophical phrases at them. They will probably never be ready to hear them.

Let’s just all take a moment to thank God for His Wisdom and His Grace.

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An Open Letter;

To Walter Koenig and the rest of the family of Andrew Koenig:

We offer up to you all our prayers at this time. We do know how much this hurts, but no two situations are ever the same.

No one should have to bury their own children. No one should have to outlive their own children.

But, somehow, things happen and our children make poor choices. What ever we have taught them, we would never want them to feel like we will be making all their decisions for them for the rest of their lives.

So, we let go. That is the first heartbreak. Our children go away to college. They get married. They get jobs out-of-town. And each time they leave us, they leave a little bit of a hole in us.

When a child takes his own life, we know it is final. There will be no visits for Christmas. There will be no vacations together. Everything will have changed. Forever.

We cry. We mourn. We grieve “right out loud.” And we think it will never get any better for us. And it may or it may not. There is a time factor, and our overall response to tragedy which factor into this.

I – we, my wife and I – know what it is to lose a son to suicide. Our son took his own life on June 22, 2009. He had been suffering for years with physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. He was a 13-year Coast Guard petty officer. This had been his love. All the above, plus Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, contributed to a severe depression which caused him to make a wrong decision and to take his own life.

We will always miss our Charlie. Even the good memories of him will always be bittersweet.

But there is healing! God, however you perceive Him, will be with you just as He is with your Andrew at this very moment. I want you to know … I want all of you to know … that God knows our hurts, and heals them. Remember, He lost His only Son, too.

Blessings to you all.